VIDEO TRAILER: For All We Know (YOUNG ADULT NOVEL)

HELP!

I never knew what to believe about how the world actually works. Grandma said God ran the show, and any infidel questioning that fact, was headed straight for Hell. Dad is a God-believer too, but unlike Grandma's God, Dad's Almighty lets us skip confession and church here and there. Mom always said God was for the brainwashed but wasn't quite an aetheist. My best friend, Renee, went for Ouija or Karma, depending on the day. And since there was no proving who was right or wrong in the God department; since every lord and ruler apparently has a dark side, I decided–-way back in grade school–-to just stop worrying about whose hand would eventually drown me, choke me, or slap me with bone cancer. Because dead was dead.

But that was before Mom went flying, face first, into a tree trunk.

That was before Dad turned on me.

That was before we went nosediving off the cliff of all things sane, normal, and right, and I needed to know who or what to hate for all eternity.

Now, after what happened to us and is actually still happening–I want to know for a hard-and-fast fact whose god is the real God. I want to know what demented lord ruined our lives and I want to know why. Because for starters–-me and my older brother, Wesley, never did anything wrong enough to deserve ending up motherless before we even made it out of high school. We didn’t deserve to have our father go outright insane the very same night we lost Mom. Mom didn’t deserve to die before her time just because she was “difficult,” quit church, and slapped a priest. And we sure as hell didn’t deserve to not recover.

“Time will ease your pain,” everyone promised us at Mom’s funeral. But my mother has been gone eight months and my brother still won’t talk unless he absolutely has to. Dad still flies into wild rages, paces like a rabid dog, and drinks himself sick. I’m still the only one trying to put our family back together and I still don't have a clue as to how to perform that particular miracle.

And did I mention that my father took away my phone and laptop?

Did I mention that he just remarried and moved us out of Iowa so fast you’d think the state was on freaking fire?

So now we’re living in a state shaped like a stupid mitten. I have no way to talk to my friends back home. My brother wants to run away. My stepmom is acting way too nice. Dad keeps unspooling like a fishing reel with a whale at the end of the line, and even though I’m in love with the cute skateboarder in our new neighborhood, the crush isn’t keeping me floating. I’m starting to believe that grief isn’t the only thing messing with Dad’s sanity. I think somebody’s not telling me something. And I’m hoping to high heaven that that something isn’t what I think it is–-because if that nightmare is real too-–kill me now.

take a walk

Sometimes, life can be overwhelming.

Playing video games, watching TikTok videos, and scrolling other social media sites often adds to that overwhelming feeing. Too much screen time can add to depression and/or anxiety too. So, how do you keep your head on straight during those tough times?

GO OUTSIDE AND WALK!

At Lily's lowest points, all she could do was walk around the neighborhood. She needed to remind herself there was a world outside of the one going on at home. She never expected those walks to net her three new friends and a new understanding of not only the world, but also of her place in it.

11 AMAZING BENEFITS OF WALKING:

1. Walking keeps your muscles and bones strong.

2. Taking a walk on a regular basis helps you think more clearly and sleep more peacefully.

3. Walking gives your scrolling/posting eyes a rest.

4. Struggling with anxiety? Walking can calm your nerves. It lowers your heart rate and eases stress.

5. Walking wakes up your endorphins and giving your mood a lift.

6. Struggling with weight gain? Walking helps you lose weight and maintain normal weight.

7. Sick of feeling sick? Walking helps keep your immune system functioning at optimal levels.

8. How about walking your dog? Your parents carry a lot of responsibility on their shoulders. They have to feed you, shelter you, drive you around, work, clean, and care for your overall well-being. Walking your dog on a regular basis will lighten your stress load and theirs. If like Lily, you don't have a dog, maybe there's a neighbor who'd appreciate you walking their pup.

9. Walking is like meditation. Sometimes I pick a positive mantra like, "I feel confident and clear about my next step." I say this over and over while walking. I say it with with feeling, with energy, with excitement. By the time I'm finished with my walk, I feel I can conquer whatever issue may have been troubling me and more often than not, my next steps become clear!

10. Walking gives you time to appreciate all the good in your life and that appreciation helps you attract more good. It's like momentum. Once the energy gets going, it keeps going. Positive or negative. So walk and appreciate what you have: your house, your family, your friends, your mind, your teachers, your siblings if you have them, your cousins, your grandparents, the sky, the trees, the feeling of the sun on your back or the wind caressing your face.

11. Experience the joy of taking someone else for a walk. Not everyone is physically mobile. If you have a friend or grandparent who uses a wheelchair to get around, take them for a walk. Walk alongside their chair if they can move on their own, or push them if they can't. One of my best memories is pushing my mom along a path lined with apple blossoms. We walked that short path over and over. It was so beautiful. Her appreciation was so immense. I can still feel the joy of that awesome experience.

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